Stargaze
by Minbus
Summary: The stars seemed to sparkle even more brightly tonight." Sarah-Jane centered fic set in her Sarah-Jane Adventure years... 10th Doctor features : Sarah/Alan and Sarah/10th Doctor. SPOILERS for DW series 4 finale


I apologize if this is in the wrong place... but there seems to be no Sarah-Jane Adventures category, and seeing as though the 10th Doctor plays a huge role in this fic, i thought i would post it here... anyone wanting to complain... let me know and i will remove it :)

A/N: Okies :) I'm not really a writer... i prefer drawing on paper rather than writing on it LOL! But this would just not leave me alone! I want to dedicate it to V... who put the idea in my and Laura who is the true star that beta-read it for me :)

Warning: It is rather, or should i say a very, shippy fic! So if you don't like 'shipping or fluff... i don't think you will like it :)

**Title:** Stargaze  
**Author:** Me!  
**Rating:** Erm... PG i guess.. or T just to be on the safe side  
**Characters:** Sarah-Jane, Alan, Luke, Maria, Clyde, 10th Doctor, mentions of Donna  
**Pairings:** Sarah-Jane/Alan with a splash of Sarah-Jane/Doctor, Donna/Doctor if you squint reallllly hard.  
**Word Count:** 2,066  
**Spoilers:** SPOILERS FOR DOCTOR WHO SERIES 4 FINALE...  
**Summary:** The stars seemed to sparkle even more brightly tonight.

**_Stargaze._**

The rain was the perfect disguise as it mixed with his salty tears. The Doctor looked up at the Noble household. "Be brilliant." He whispered as he turned toward his lonely blue box. The wooden door creaked shut and he stared at the middle console of the TARDIS.

He was alone. Again.

He had never told Donna how much she meant to him. He never told any of them. He was a saviour in so many ways, yet he was the biggest coward of them all.

Because it hurt too much.

This is the curse of the time lords.

Being alone.

__

...

"Mum!"

Sarah-Jane burst in from the sunlight and rushed through the door.

"Luke?" A salty tear disappeared into Luke's hair as mother and son held each other tightly. "You were brilliant." Sarah sighed as she kissed the top of Luke's head.

"So were you Mum." Luke smiled broadly up at her and pulled away. "Maria and Clyde are OK. They're coming straight over when they get back."

"We better get the tea on ready then." Sarah giggled as Luke nodded and started toward the kitchen.

Sarah stared after her son. She wasn't alone anymore. She was getting on with her life. Just like he always wanted her to.

And it didn't hurt anymore.

There was a crash and a "I didn't mean to break the cup." Sarah just smiled.

This is the curse of being a parent.

Loving too much,

It had been a hard couple of days and the rollercoaster of emotions had left Sarah drained. Yet however tired she was, she still greeted Maria, Alan and Clyde with hugs and told them to help themselves to tea.

Sarah remained quiet as everyone shared their stories of what had happened to them over the past couple of days. She smiled when she was supposed to, but she didn't feel like participating much. It was when everyone burst out into giggles after being told how Clyde nearly decapitated a dalek, that Alan noticed.

"Are you ok, Sarah-Jane?" he asked, turning to face her.

Sarah smiled as best she could and nodded. "Yes. I… It's… I'm just tired."

Alan reached across and placed his hand on top of hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "OK," he smiled, "Maria, Clyde, we better get back. Luke can come and stay with us tonight."

Luke looked at his Mum. "But…" he was interrupted by Maria who had cottoned on to her Dad's plan of leaving Sarah alone to sleep.

"Come on Luke. I can show you that… erm… thing…" Alan flashed her a knowing look as Sarah smirked and shook her head. They weren't being very subtle about this at all.

Luke looked confused. "What? Oh… yeah…" he caught Maria's stare. "… right. Mum, is that ok?" he turned to look at Sarah who nodded.

"Of course. Just don't give Alan any trouble." She knew Luke wouldn't, but felt she had to show some sort of parental skills to Alan.

"Right, that's sorted then." Alan stood up and followed everyone towards the front door. The three teenagers started across the road whilst Alan strayed back a little.

"Have a good nights sleep, Sarah-Jane."

"Thank you. For everything." She almost whispered as she looked up into his eyes and realised just how close they were standing. She felt his breath on her cheek as she tried to fathom what lay behind his eyes.

"You're welcome." He breathed and swiftly turned and left. Not before turning back and saying, "Come over for breakfast tomorrow. If you want."

Sarah nodded and turned back to the warm glow of her house. She was glad that Alan suggested Luke stay at his for the night. She loved Luke more than anything in the world, but right now she just needed her bed.

__

...

No matter how hard she tired, Sarah just could not sleep. She tried reading, listening to soft music, even the sleeping pills she had taken didn't work.

She sighed her defeat as she swept the cotton quilt aside, rose to her feet and made her way downstairs.

The kitchen was bathed in a soft moonlight as Sarah moved to the fridge to get a glass of water. Something caught her attention as she glanced out of the window.

The stars seemed to sparkle even more brightly tonight.

The glass forgotten on the side counter, Sarah opened the back door and wrapped her arms around her as the chilly wind whipped around the night sky. Almost in a trance-like state, she moved to the middle of the garden, the dew making her bare feet wet, and looked up to the sky.

Just like so many times before, the memories came flooding back.

She shut her eyes tightly, holding back the tears that had yet to fall. The relief that the past 2 days were over finally caught up with her and she realised just what she had back here on earth.

Sarah sat down on the dewy grass, not caring that the dampness was seeping through her pyjamas and looked up to the starry sky. She eventually laid her head down, letting her hair flow around her.

She wasn't thinking of anything in particular, just joining the stars with her eyes, when a voice split the air.

"You'll catch your death out here you know. Laying on the damp ground like that."

Sarah looked up with a start. "Oh Doctor, you startled me."

"Sorry…" The Doctor mumbled, digging his hands into his pockets. He looked like he was going to say something else, but closed his mouth. He looked young and fragile, almost broken, and Sarah knew something must have happened to Donna. But she knew not to ask, not to push him.

"Its ok," she said as she settled her head back onto the ground. "I just couldn't sleep and the only way I could relax was to look up at the stars. Remembering."

The Doctor ambled over to her slowly, starting to remember himself. He slowly sunk down to her level, mumbling something about the dampness that Sarah ignored. He lay next to her; his head next to her head, his body next to hers.

They both watched the stars for a moment.

"I had a run in once with this guy who called himself Herc. It was when I visited the Hercules constellation. Just there." He pointed towards the sky. "Wasn't a very nice bloke to be honest… too muscular and thought waaay too much of himself…."

And Sarah let him ramble on. She loved to listen to his adventures, even though she had heard them over a hundred times.

Suddenly a thought struck her head.

"How did you find me Doctor?"

"… and can you imagine! The more angrier they got, the more their flashes went…. What?" He abruptly looked at her.

"How did you find me?" Her eyes still glued to the stars.

"Oh, well, you know…." He paused. "… You are my best friend." He energetically grinned. Sarah couldn't help but turn to him and match his smile. The sparkle in his eyes had returned.

She turned back to the twinkle of the stars.

"Tell me about that constellation." She said, almost child-like, as she pointed high up in the sky. She knew already everything about it, but she wanted the Doctor to tell her. She wanted to get lost in his youthful voice.

The Doctor looked to where she was pointing.

"Well…" he started as he reached up and took her small hand in his. He pulled it down between them and held onto it tightly. "… that Sarah, is the Andromeda constellation. Nothing much happens there. There are much more exciting constellations and planets and black holes out in the universe…"

"… but nothing quite as pretty as the ones seen from earth." They both said together and burst out into giggles.

They went quiet for a moment as they contemplated about different things.

"I had to wipe her memory, Sarah." The Doctor burst out suddenly. Sarah's mouth formed a small 'O.' "She will never remember me, the adventures we shared. And if she does…" his voice cracked. But he didn't need to explain it to Sarah, she already knew.

"She seems like a lovely girl. When I met her that is." Sarah responded.

"Oh she is!" The Doctor grinned again. "She's more than lovely. Brilliant in fact! The most important woman in the universe!"

"And she will always know it. Even if it is embedded in her subconscious. No-one could ever forget you, Doctor." There was a short pause.

"Thank-you Sarah." The Doctor said softly.

"For what?"

"For being here."

"Well, I must say it was rather a surprise..." She was going to carry on that sentence, but couldn't pile more guilt onto his already heavy conscious. He had had to carry it around for 30 years.

She sighed. "I still have nightmares about Davros sometimes you know…" Sarah smiled sadly as the Doctor looked at her concerned. "… about the old times."

"What about all the good times?"

"Oh…" she smirked. "Those are the best dreams." The Doctor smiled, chuffed with him self. Still holding Sarah's hand, he smiled and leaned down towards her and lightly brushed his lips against hers. To his surprise, Sarah hesitantly responded. There was a pause as both Sarah and the Doctor simultaneously placed their head in their hand and looked at each other.

"I'm old enough to be your mother."

"And a wonderful mother you will make." Sarah knew he meant to Luke. "Besides," the Doctor waved his hand in a 'get away' motion. "… I'm old enough to be grandfather 10 times over!" He lay back down and giggled.

"And yet you don't show it." Sarah said mockingly.

"Neither do you, Sarah-Jane." He whispered. "Besides! You're my very best friend in the whole of the entire universes! Did I mention that?" he cheerily sung.

"You did!" Sarah smiled at him as he pulled her down into his arms.

"Well," he said, "Its true."

As she settled down, watching the stars again, she could sense the smile playing on his lips.

For the rest of the time they lay in silence, comfortable in each other's presence. After a while Sarah couldn't keep her eyes open for any longer and finally let the tiredness overcome her.

As the Doctor lay there with Sarah sleeping peacefully in his arms, he suddenly remembered why he had come to find her.

But he didn't have to tell her how much she meant to him.

She knew it already.

__

...

Sarah had to shield her eyes as she awoke to the morning's sunrays bursting through the window. She wasn't surprised to find herself in her own bed. She smelt his slight scent on her pillow and she smiled. It soon disappeared as she remembered lying on a damp ground last night. She cursed the Doctor, wishing he had woken her up so she could get dressed and save her the trouble of waking up in a rather damp and grassy bed.

But it's the thought that counts, she thought.

After having a shower, Sarah went downstairs and remembered Alan's offer the night before. She was just about to leave the house when she saw a note stuck unceremoniously to the door. She smiled.

'Until next time, my Sarah-Jane.'

And she knew she was never going to get her goodbye. The Doctor was always going to be a part of her life. Even if she did have to wait another 30 years.

__

...

As Sarah approached the Jackson household, the door swung open and there stood a beaming Alan.

"I'm glad you took me up on my offer."

"Well," she said, "I have to make sure you're feeding my son." They both grinned.

Alan stepped aside to let Sarah past. She hesitated slightly in front of him. She turned and lightly kissed him on the cheek.

As she pulled away, she smiled.

Peering round through the kitchen door was a slightly amused young girl's face and a boy's rather confused one.

Sarah was greeted with a huge smile as she and Alan entered the kitchen.

"Good morning Luke, Maria. Where's Clyde?"

"Oh, he's still asleep," chirped Alan.

Sarah laughed and noticed Maria was still beaming at her.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," chimed Maria, "absolutely nothing."

**__**

Reviews welcome, just don't be too harsh!


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